My life doesn’t look anything like I thought it would when I was 8. It doesn’t look anything like I thought it would when I was 18 or 28 either. Heck it doesn’t look anything like I thought it would a year ago. I’m now 38, and though my life has never really followed the… Continue reading Chapter 38
Tag: heart transplant stories
Dear Santa,
Winter time has come in strong, It’s rained, it’s blown, it’s snowed week-long. But it's Christmas! Time for lights and cheer, Dear Santa, here's my wish this year.Christmas should be full of fun, of gifts and food and time with everyone. So many things to look forward to, And yet, this season is hard to… Continue reading Dear Santa,
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Cake Day
Sometimes I find it very difficult to be a heart transplant recipient. This was especially true when I was a kid. I didn’t want to acknowledge it happened. I didn’t want to acknowledge it at all. I just wanted to go back to being me, a normal kid. That never really worked out but I… Continue reading Cake Day
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The Pressure To Do Great Things
I remember when the Tim McGraw song “live like you were dying came out”. I was 16 years old and around three years post transplant. In the song, someone is telling a story of when they were given devastating medical news in their 40s. In this conversation in the song, the friend then asks “what… Continue reading The Pressure To Do Great Things
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What Happens When you Forget How to Live?
A few years ago, I wrote a blog post entitled “It’s About Being Alive”. I think I was probably right about that. It’s just that somewhere along the way I forgot what that actually means. Sure, life is about living, but how do you actually live? I wrote that post back in 2019. Well, a… Continue reading What Happens When you Forget How to Live?
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So…I Had a Heart Transplant
Would you ever know if I didn’t say it out loud? On October 16, 2001, I had a heart transplant. Ten days later I got to go home after 145 days in the hospital. I remember being on the couch right after I got home. It was fall. I remember it being gloomy. And there… Continue reading So…I Had a Heart Transplant
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Suffering Isn’t Cute
People who are suffering are not appealing. It is hard to be around them. It seems they take up more space than they should. We stay away as if they are contagious. Suffering isn’t instagramable. It isn’t inspiring and it certainly doesn’t seem helpful to most of us. And yet it’s at the root of… Continue reading Suffering Isn’t Cute
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The Drop
It’s been a tough long year. It’s crazy looking back and seeing how much I really did this year. I had to relearn how to live fully in the world post-pandemic. I went from fully masked at work to forgetting to even have a mask on me. I went from “I’m never travelling again” to… Continue reading The Drop
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Why Not?
I was watching a show the other day and the young girl on the show started talking about her dreams. She wanted to have lots of kids and had a whole vision for her life. My reaction was not very positive. While listening to her I even caught myself saying “good luck”. I was a… Continue reading Why Not?
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Young at Heart
There are a lot of scary things about being a transplant recipient. Not only was I suddenly bombarded with endless medical procedures that I would have to endure for the rest of my life but I also started hearing all kinds of scary information about what it means to be a transplant recipient. Some of… Continue reading Young at Heart
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17 Again
I know this seems ridiculous but for a long time I’ve felt like my life peaked when I was 17. I was in college, had a bunch of amazing friends, and was always out on adventures with them. After that I became very lonely at University and started having trouble even getting out of bed.… Continue reading 17 Again
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The New Year Blues
I sat at work all day yesterday totally blah. It didn’t help that it seems like the world is still on holiday. Nothing much seemed to be going on which made the day feel even longer. I wasn’t even excited to go home. I was just blah. I spent New Year’s weekend fighting a cold… Continue reading The New Year Blues
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I was 13 the First Time I Had to Learn to be Alone
I was 13 the First Time I Had to Learn to be Alone. Until then I had lived with my family and been around people always. I was almost never by myself. When I ended up in the hospital, I was suddenly alone a lot. Sure, I had my parents taking shifts to spend time with me, my visitors, and my nurses. But when my parents weren’t there, I was alone. I always wanted them to stay longer. Dad had the evening shift while my mom went home to cook me food to try to help get my weight up. He would stay just after 9 p.m. when visiting hours ended to watch TV with me in the family room. We were quiet and didn’t disrupt anyone, so I got to keep him around a bit longer. At 9:30 he’d head home too, and I would be alone for at least 12 more hours until visiting hours started the next day. --> Keep Reading
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Hey Mom? I can only feel half of my face.
Hey Mom? I can only feel half of my face. “And I can only feel half of my tongue! This is weird.” Soon, I was surrounded by people assessing me. I don’t remember them all, but I had multiple TIAs that summer. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a transient ischemic attack. If you still don’t know what that is, I find that quite reasonable. I prefer to refer to it as a temporary stroke. People like to correct me when I say that, but I think they’re missing the point. The response I get is “A TIA is not a stroke” and I’m like “yeah, cus it’s temporary, a stroke is permanent.” I know there’s more to it than that but not to the average person and not to the person experiencing it. The scary thing about TIAs is that you don’t know they are temporary until they are. So, they may as well be a stroke until they aren’t. Know what I mean? It has to be assumed you are having a stroke in case you are having a stroke. And one day I did. Read On ->
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Talk to The Pillow
Being a kid in a grown-up hospital mattered mostly to the grownups. I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. “It’s too bad you’re the only kid here” they’d say as if I’d be socializing if there were others. And do we really want more kids? I think not. I wouldn’t have wished this upon my worst enemy. Even with a drawer full, and I mean full, of my favourite candy, daily cake delivery, and endless movie watching, I’d choose freedom any day. Keep Reading -->
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Home
by Emily Bradley There are at least 12 different ways to make a grilled cheese sandwich. The right way involves taking two pieces of white Wonder Bread, slathering them with margarine on one side, slapping a piece of Kraft Singles cheese between them, throwing them into a non-stick frying pan, and flipping until golden brown… Continue reading Home
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Moving On Up! Regrettably
There it was. My new room. This one had windows. Big windows. It had a bathroom. More importantly a bathroom I was now able to use by myself! They had packed me up and moved me out of the ICU. I had been in the basement for almost two weeks. Now I was on the… Continue reading Moving On Up! Regrettably
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Dad’s Journal
Written by Mike Bradley Intro by Laura I remember it wasn’t long before I started missing important dates. My end of year school trip date came and went. I was missing exams too. But the first really important date I missed was Father’s Day. It was the first in a long summer filled with holidays… Continue reading Dad’s Journal
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No Thank You, Sir, I’m Going Home
A few days had passed, I think. I’ve never been very good with time. I was still waiting to find out when I’d get to go home. I was starting to get stronger. I figured that’s all I needed to do. Get better, go home. This is just a serious but minor setback. That wasn’t… Continue reading No Thank You, Sir, I’m Going Home
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“I’m only thirteen!”
I have this memory that I don’t understand. It was like a dream, but it felt so real. I was on a hospital gurney surrounded by faces I didn’t recognize. It was as if I had just woken up and all these people were buzzing around me. They were rushing so fast it felt like… Continue reading “I’m only thirteen!”
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I Remember the Moment My Heart Broke
In the days leading up to my end of the year dance show, I no longer felt like myself. The first thing I noticed was that I couldn’t sleep. I would try to arrange my bed and rearrange my bed. I’d add pillows and then remove them. I was constantly struggling to find a position… Continue reading I Remember the Moment My Heart Broke
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The Climb
It was a dark and stormy night!... lol no it wasn’t. Should it have been? I mean it was a sad hard day, but it was beautiful outside. It was sunny and bright. And sad and hard. It was all of those. There were no storms. In fact, over the 5 months, I can’t remember… Continue reading The Climb
Laura Bradley 