My life doesn’t look anything like I thought it would when I was 8. It doesn’t look anything like I thought it would when I was 18 or 28 either. Heck it doesn’t look anything like I thought it would a year ago. I’m now 38, and though my life has never really followed the… Continue reading Chapter 38
Tag: Never Give Up
Dear Santa,
Winter time has come in strong, It’s rained, it’s blown, it’s snowed week-long. But it's Christmas! Time for lights and cheer, Dear Santa, here's my wish this year.Christmas should be full of fun, of gifts and food and time with everyone. So many things to look forward to, And yet, this season is hard to… Continue reading Dear Santa,
Share this:
Share this:
Cake Day
Sometimes I find it very difficult to be a heart transplant recipient. This was especially true when I was a kid. I didn’t want to acknowledge it happened. I didn’t want to acknowledge it at all. I just wanted to go back to being me, a normal kid. That never really worked out but I… Continue reading Cake Day
Share this:
Share this:
What Happens When you Forget How to Live?
A few years ago, I wrote a blog post entitled “It’s About Being Alive”. I think I was probably right about that. It’s just that somewhere along the way I forgot what that actually means. Sure, life is about living, but how do you actually live? I wrote that post back in 2019. Well, a… Continue reading What Happens When you Forget How to Live?
Share this:
Share this:
So…I Had a Heart Transplant
Would you ever know if I didn’t say it out loud? On October 16, 2001, I had a heart transplant. Ten days later I got to go home after 145 days in the hospital. I remember being on the couch right after I got home. It was fall. I remember it being gloomy. And there… Continue reading So…I Had a Heart Transplant
Share this:
Share this:
Take me out at the ballgame?
All of a sudden people were all around me. I don’t quite remember the sounds, but they were there. The things I do remember hearing were things I had heard before that brought me right back to first waking up in the hospital when I was 13. “Is she ok?” “Does she know where she is?” “Get her up” “No! Don’t get her up!” All of it was coming at me all at once.
Share this:
Share this:
Suffering Isn’t Cute
People who are suffering are not appealing. It is hard to be around them. It seems they take up more space than they should. We stay away as if they are contagious. Suffering isn’t instagramable. It isn’t inspiring and it certainly doesn’t seem helpful to most of us. And yet it’s at the root of… Continue reading Suffering Isn’t Cute
Share this:
Share this:
The Drop
It’s been a tough long year. It’s crazy looking back and seeing how much I really did this year. I had to relearn how to live fully in the world post-pandemic. I went from fully masked at work to forgetting to even have a mask on me. I went from “I’m never travelling again” to… Continue reading The Drop
Share this:
Share this:
Why Not?
I was watching a show the other day and the young girl on the show started talking about her dreams. She wanted to have lots of kids and had a whole vision for her life. My reaction was not very positive. While listening to her I even caught myself saying “good luck”. I was a… Continue reading Why Not?
Share this:
Share this:
Young at Heart
There are a lot of scary things about being a transplant recipient. Not only was I suddenly bombarded with endless medical procedures that I would have to endure for the rest of my life but I also started hearing all kinds of scary information about what it means to be a transplant recipient. Some of… Continue reading Young at Heart
Share this:
Share this:
17 Again
I know this seems ridiculous but for a long time I’ve felt like my life peaked when I was 17. I was in college, had a bunch of amazing friends, and was always out on adventures with them. After that I became very lonely at University and started having trouble even getting out of bed.… Continue reading 17 Again
Share this:
Share this:
The New Year Blues
I sat at work all day yesterday totally blah. It didn’t help that it seems like the world is still on holiday. Nothing much seemed to be going on which made the day feel even longer. I wasn’t even excited to go home. I was just blah. I spent New Year’s weekend fighting a cold… Continue reading The New Year Blues
Share this:
Share this:
It will Be better
I've learned a lot in the last six months. It's been a bit of a whirlwind. This is somewhat ironic because I slowed my life down a lot. One of the main reasons I haven't been writing much in the past year or so is because I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about… Continue reading It will Be better
Share this:
Share this:
Nothing Was the Same in June
This past week I've been off. There's no reason for it. I didn't even reallyknow it was happening. I had something important and positive scheduled I wasreally mad at myself for scheduling it because I didn't want to go. I wasgiving the people around me a hard time for no reason. I was restless anduncomfortable… Continue reading Nothing Was the Same in June
Share this:
Share this:
Memories
Healing mental health by enjoying the good things despite the bad things. And never forgetting to see opportunities for adventure 🙂
Share this:
Share this:
This Is Not the Life I Fought so Hard to Live
I’ve said that so many times in my life. So often I have felt completely trapped in this world. I’ve even gone as far as to say that if I had died at thirteen, I would never have experienced how painful life can be. Usually, whoever I’m with gets upset and my response is simply… Continue reading This Is Not the Life I Fought so Hard to Live
Share this:
Share this:
Day 661
It's been a rough few months. I haven't been posting. I feel like people come here for hope and positivity and I haven't been feeling very hopeful or positive. It's gotten worse in the last couple of weeks with what's been going on in the world. What I've come to realize through all of this… Continue reading Day 661
Share this:
Share this:
Talk to The Pillow
Being a kid in a grown-up hospital mattered mostly to the grownups. I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. “It’s too bad you’re the only kid here” they’d say as if I’d be socializing if there were others. And do we really want more kids? I think not. I wouldn’t have wished this upon my worst enemy. Even with a drawer full, and I mean full, of my favourite candy, daily cake delivery, and endless movie watching, I’d choose freedom any day. Keep Reading -->
Share this:
Share this:
I Tried So Hard Not To. But I did.
"not to. I wasn’t staying here. This is temporary! I’ll get better and get out of here is no time. I still didn’t want to think about the whole needing a new heart to do be able to leave thing. My mom would ask me if I wanted my favourite bear or anything from home. I refused. I didn’t want any of my favourite things to be tainted by this place or this room. Or worse, there was a very real risk of getting blood on it. My mom brought me some new pjs so I wouldn’t have to wear the hospital gowns. I could be a bit comfortable at least. Though my doctor would later joke about them being shipped in from Paris, hospital gowns are certainly not built for comfort. So, I started to concede to things like that. “It would be nice to have a blanket”. " Keep Reading -->
Share this:
Share this:
Home
by Emily Bradley There are at least 12 different ways to make a grilled cheese sandwich. The right way involves taking two pieces of white Wonder Bread, slathering them with margarine on one side, slapping a piece of Kraft Singles cheese between them, throwing them into a non-stick frying pan, and flipping until golden brown… Continue reading Home
Share this:
Share this:
Dad’s Journal
Written by Mike Bradley Intro by Laura I remember it wasn’t long before I started missing important dates. My end of year school trip date came and went. I was missing exams too. But the first really important date I missed was Father’s Day. It was the first in a long summer filled with holidays… Continue reading Dad’s Journal
Share this:
Share this:
No Thank You, Sir, I’m Going Home
A few days had passed, I think. I’ve never been very good with time. I was still waiting to find out when I’d get to go home. I was starting to get stronger. I figured that’s all I needed to do. Get better, go home. This is just a serious but minor setback. That wasn’t… Continue reading No Thank You, Sir, I’m Going Home
Share this:
Share this:
What makes you, you?
When I was younger, I used to hate at the beginning of a new school year when the teacher would go around the room asking each student to tell the class “a little about yourself”. This was worse torture to me than showing up for an exam that I didn’t know about. (possibly because I… Continue reading What makes you, you?
Share this:
Share this:
October 16th, 2001
October 15th, 2001 was probably the scariest day of my life. It was the day I found out there was a heart for me. After months of searching, they had found a match. At the beginning of June 2001 this whirlwind showed up in my life. It stole my air. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t… Continue reading October 16th, 2001
Share this:
Share this:
“What do You want?”
The other day I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment. I had no idea what to do. I was wearing a robe, a tank top, pj pants, and slippers. I had gone to the garbage chute which is right next to my apartment. I heard an odd click as my door closed behind me… Continue reading “What do You want?”
Share this:
Share this:
What It’s Like To Be A Quitter
When I was younger, I used to quit things a lot. There was a very good reason for it but it still made me feel like a loser. I used to quit things that were too hard. The first and probably worst thing I ever quit was my swim classes. Before I got sick, my… Continue reading What It’s Like To Be A Quitter
Share this:
Share this:
February 14th, 2020
I’m lying in bed looking up at my funky light fixture with the sun streaming through the crack in my black out curtains and I’m trying to breathe. I can’t seem to expand my torso. I can only inhale for 2 seconds and it gets cut. I have to get up, I’m going to be… Continue reading February 14th, 2020
Laura Bradley 